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May 19th, 2006 (11:28 pm)
confused

current mood: confused

Today was one of the best days I have had in a while.
Tuesday was a pupil free day, which I didn’t know about, so I got to m daughters school and all the gates were shut! I took her home and we just spent the day hanging out, and watching movies, playing games, cooking…. it was wonderful. When I put her to bed she hugged me and said “Mummy, today was one of my best days of my life!” I almost cried!!
Anyway back to today!
After breakfast this morning my beautiful older daughter and I sat down and did some of her school reading together! She has only been going to school for 3 weeks so the readers she brings home at this stage are just one little book for a letter of the alphabet and also a book without words for her to make up her own story. After she recognised all the words in her letter “Z” book I wrote down a couple of other words for her to see if she knew them, which she did!! Granted they were only “Cat”, “Dog”, “My” and “Baby” but she knew them!!!! I am so proud of her, and put another note in her lunch box telling her so!!
After I dropped her at school, I ran a few errands and then headed to the gym to do my last day of week 2 of Jillian’s program. (Technically it was my 3rd week, but because my daughter was sick last week I repeated week 2).
Then I came home, did a bit of cleaning, played with my beautiful baby girl, and cooked dinner. Then it was time to pick my other daughter up, head to swimming lessons and then onto to Nannie and Granda’s! I had left the quiche cooking at their place so we had dinner there! It was so nice to spend time with them again. My dad loves the girls so much, and they were so excited when my step mum got home! The baby was clapping her hands and everything! The girls were so well behaved even though they were up almost an hour past their bedtimes! I had to carry two very sleepy girls in to bed when we got home. And nothing, and I mean NOTHING tops off an excellent day like a helping of Madonna! That’s right, I cranked up my copy of the drowned world tour and lost myself in the beauty that is Madonna!! I tell you what, stuff the exercising; my heart rate was up pretty high just from sitting on the lounge watching Madonna move!! *giggle*
The only dark patch of the day was once again my sister. She had forgotten her keys today, so I headed to her work about 3pm to drop them off. When I got there I was informed she had finished work ages ago. She has been telling us she has been working really late, but now I find out she is lying. The worst part if she promised my daughter that if she finished early enough she would come and watch her at swimming lessons. When she finally did get home tonight she was so out of it. Her talking was so slow and slurred and the dumb part is she is so trashed I can’t tell if she is more stoned or drunk. I really think I need to grow some balls and tell her she needs to hurry up and move out. I can’t do this for much longer. I had the carpets cleaned yesterday and put signs up everywhere forbidding shoes, food or drinks in the lounge room. When I got home last night, there was black stuff all over the floor. Naturally I accused her of leaving her shoes on, and she said quite defiantly that it wasn’t mud; it was the wafer biscuits she had been eating. WTF?? It said no food damn it!! She just does not care.

E came over last night…I have missed her a lot and I don’t think she understands that. I think I have slipped down her ladder of importance and I have a feeling there is another woman involved once again. *sighs* I feel like she is lost to oblivion. I feel like everything is gone. I know everything is gone. There was a moment last night where I felt that everything was lost. One single moment from the whole night confirmed everything for me.
I only hope that our friendship will remain as important to her as it does to me. My children love and miss her as well.
I guess time will sort everything out. I only hope she knows who and what she is to me!